“The woman is toxic,” thought Nancy. “She epitomizes negativity, and she’s an energy vampire,” Nancy told herself when she spotted Elizabeth walking towards her. Elizabeth’s gait tended towards a march rather than a walk; Nancy prepared herself for another mental assault.
Elizabeth held her back ruler straight, her arms close to her body, refusing to let them swing as they naturally wanted to do. It was her body, and she bloody well was going to control its every action, she thought with no room for arguments. Her shoulders were extremely tense from the unnatural way she was walking, while her neck muscles occasionally sent tiny spasms down her spine. This annoyance only served to increase her morose perception of life in general.
“Life is out to kill us from the moment we are brought wailing, wet and miserable into this world,” she often remarked to anybody who was foolish enough to lend her an ear. “Whether we admit or deny it, living is neither an accurate description of our condition, nor an adequate reference to our experience in this world. Technically, we should be calling it ‘dying’, for that is exactly what we are doing from the time we take our very first breath. Perishing. A long, drawn out, inexorable unspooling of our days towards our inevitable interment.”
As could be expected, Elizabeth’s listeners very soon rued the decision to engage her in conversation. If they could have, they would have gladly detached their ears and gifted it to Elizabeth instead of lending them to her. Elizabeth’s tirades ensured that her ‘victims’ never again made the same mistake twice of voluntarily interacting conversationally with her. Consequently, Elizabeth was starved for human interaction.
Elizabeth now planted herself right in front of Nancy, effectively preventing her from escaping. She was determined to give Nancy a piece of her mind, whether the woman wanted it or not. They had stopped conveniently outside the unoccupied Conference Room of the Technical Department of Discovery Health, the company they worked for, and Elizabeth intended to have the conversation in there to afford them the necessary privacy.
Nancy mentally exhaled a long-suffering sigh; she braced herself for being inundated with a tsunami of vituperation. She plastered a fake smile upon her face, looked Elizabeth in the eye and said with all the cheer she could muster, “Elizabeth! How nice to see you! I was wondering how you were doing, as I haven’t heard from you for quite a while.”
The last time Nancy had spoken to Elizabeth was about a month ago, when she had run into her in Cavendish Square, a popular shopping mall in the suburb of Claremont. Nancy had been with her son, Gary, who had wanted to get himself a particular pair of sport shoes which only Sport Scene stocked. Nancy had been sitting outside the store on one of the public benches, waiting for Gary to make his selection, whiling away the time by scrolling through Facebook posts on her smart phone. She had only become aware of Elizabeth when she had noticed the stationary shoes of someone who was standing in front of her. She had looked up in query to be surprised by Elizabeth scowling down at her.
“Damn! Does this woman wear a permanent frown?” she had asked herself at the time while smiling in greeting at Elizabeth.
“So, you’re waiting for your son, I’m guessing?” Elizabeth had said, reminding Nancy that in spite of her numerous personality foibles, nobody could dispute the fact that Elizabeth was an extremely intelligent woman. In fact, she was often eerily perceptive.
“Hi!” Nancy had said. “Yeah, Gary’s inside, choosing some shoes he just had to have. You know how teenagers are,” Nancy had shared with Elizabeth.
“Actually, I do,” Elizabeth had responded, surprising Nancy somewhat.
“You have teenagers?” Nancy had asked, having never before inquired into Elizabeth’s personal affairs to avoid the possibility of making the woman think she was trying to cultivate a friendship. She definitely did not have time to spare on this Debbie Downer.
“Not a teenager, no. A young man,” Elizabeth had answered in such a curt manner that Nancy had instinctively surmised that it was probably a topic better left undiscussed and unexplored. Nevertheless, she felt the need to at least remark upon it.
“Oh, that’s nice. I didn’t know you had any children, but from my experience with Gary, I can safely say that it must be a pleasure to have a son.”
Elizabeth had gone quiet for an interminable ten seconds. Then she had said in a carefully neutral tone, “I wouldn’t call it a pleasure, but a privilege afforded only to a rare few mothers, those of us who have more heart and soul than common sense. Our instinct for protecting our children are magnified beyond the normal range; our brains are wired differently,” she had stated, causing Nancy to feel that the woman was not really speaking to her, but to herself.
Before she could respond to Elizabeth’s cryptic remarks, Gary had shown up. Typically, he had spoken to Nancy without first ascertaining that she was free to speak to him, blissfully ignorant of the fact that he might be interrupting a conversation.
“Mom, you need to come pay for the shoes. They have my size and –” Gary had broken off in mid-sentence when he had realised that Elizabeth was staring at him. He had surmised that Elizabeth had been conversing with his mom.
“Oh, I’m sorry,” he had quickly apologised. “I didn’t realise my mom was talking to you,” he had added. He had stretched out his hand, smiled and said, “I’m Gary, by the way.”
Elizabeth had shaken Gary’s proffered hand before she had said, “It’s fine, young man. I was just about to leave anyway.” With that, she had smiled down at the still seated Nancy before quickly disappearing into the crowd of shoppers. Nancy had wanted to kick Gary’s butt for having interrupted them, but then she had calmed down and gone with him to the shop to purchase the much-needed shoes.
“Could I have a chat with you in the Conference Room, please?” Elizabeth now asked her. “I know you’re quite busy, but I promise this won’t take long.”
Nancy could see that something was different about Elizabeth; she couldn’t quite put her finger on it, but her mothering nature told her not to ignore the woman.
“Sure,” she agreed, “let’s talk in there. I know it’s free for most of the morning,” she indicated before preceding Elizabeth into the room. Both women took a seat opposite each other at a small coffee table. Nancy had a clear view through the north-facing windows of a beautifully sunny day outside. The natural light cancelled the need for an artificial one, thus they left the room lights off. Elizabeth launched straight into her monologue.
“I know what you and everyone else in the Department thinks of me,” she started off, warning Nancy to brace herself for recriminations and accusations. She was caught wholly off-guard therefore by the rest of Elizabeth’s speech.
“I know I deserve the impression all of you have of me, for I haven’t really made the effort to be more sociable, patient or even less garrulous. But I can’t help but wonder how many of you wouldn’t also be a ‘Negative Nellie’ if you had to cope with what I do daily, without surcease.”
Something about Elizabeth’s tone indicated that the matter must be a grave one. Nancy maintained her silence and eye contact and simply listened.
Despite her resolve to pay attention to Elizabeth, her mind recalled the conversation she had just that morning had with her colleague, Hawa. She was the Manager of the Accounting Department, thus extremely meticulous and intelligent. She also had strong opinions about everything and everyone.
“That Elizabeth,” she had stated, shaking her head and sighing dramatically. “I swear that woman drags around an invisible energy vacuum that drains the atmosphere of positivity. Not once have I heard her say a single positive thing about anything. She has definitely never had a positive comment about anyone,” Hawa had claimed.
“Come now, that can’t be true.” Nancy had responded, unsure of why she was always defending Elizabeth when she herself often shared her colleagues’ opinion of the incorrigible woman. “I’ve heard Elizabeth put forth excellent ideas in staff meetings, and she’s always willing to carry more than her share of the workload. Don’t forget: she never hesitates to back a staff member who makes an accurate assessment of any risks in a project.”
“Be that as it may, she still emits extremely negative vibes,” Hawa had continued. “I mean, all of us have our own personal issues, but we don’t burden our colleagues daily with these, do we? We keep them to ourselves and, you know, just carry on with life.”
“Really? Is that what you think?” Nancy had said. “If I’m not mistaken, Ayesha in Records often offloads on whoever happens to visit her office, doesn’t she? And what about Pauline? You yourself have on many occasions texted me to call you so that you could escape her ‘cornering’ of you, as you put it,” Nancy had said with a smile. She had continued, “And don’t let’s forget about Clinton in Marketing who never has anything positive to say about his finances or home situation. By now, I think, everybody in the building knows how much he detests living with his in-laws.”
“I guess now that you put it that way, we all bring some negativity with us to work,” Hawa had finally conceded.
Nancy was abruptly brought back to the present when her subconscious registered the last comment Elizabeth had just made.
“Excuse me?” Nancy said, loath to ask Elizabeth to repeat herself, for it would reveal that she hadn’t been listening as attentively as she was pretending to do. “What did you say just now?” she asked nevertheless.
“I said my son Devon suffers from motor neuron disease, or MND. MND usually affects adults between the ages of forty to sixty, but younger people can be affected, too. It’s a genetic disorder which can be triggered by a gene defect known as C9ORF72. He’s the reason I’m always so stressed out and unsociable,” Elizabeth said, somewhat shaking Nancy’s composure with her revelation.
“Is that what you were about to tell me that day in Cavendish?” Nancy instantly asked her, already knowing it to be the case.
“Yes, but I didn’t think it was the right time then,” Elizabeth replied.
“Oh, Elizabeth, I’m so sorry. I had no idea. I mean, I’m sorry that you have to deal with it on your own.”
Elizabeth had been widowed two years ago, but everyone had assumed that she was childless. Nancy knew very little about MND, but what she did know was that the disease was incurable.
“Would you mind telling me more about MND, and how it has affected Devon?” she now asked, empathy infusing her tone.
“I will try to be brief, for if I were to go into detail, I would probably break down,” Elizabeth said. Then she proceeded to give Nancy a glimpse into a horror so profound that her respect for Elizabeth soared.
“The disease destroys one’s motor neurons, crippling such activity as walking, breathing, and even swallowing. It’s a disease that progresses aggressively, turning the patient seemingly overnight into a helpless invalid who can do nothing without someone’s assistance. Muscles start to atrophy and they can also start to twitch uncontrollably.” Elizabeth paused, as she needed to wipe away tears rolling unhindered down her cheeks. Nancy wanted to get up and hug the woman, but she sensed there was more.
“Devon needs constant attention now. Before, he was still somewhat functional, but for the past year his health has deteriorated at an alarming rate. I think he has given up the will to live, and I doubt he will last until the end of the year,” Elizabeth ended in a matter-of-fact tone. She had gone pale and stared off like a person lost in an inner world of sorrow.
Now Nancy did go over to Elizabeth to give the crestfallen woman a long, warm hug. It felt utterly useless to Nancy, but she didn’t know what else to do.
“Anyway,” Elizabeth said as she disengaged herself from Nancy’s embrace, “I wanted to share this with you because I wanted to express my gratitude to you. You’ve always tolerated my presence. No, no. It’s okay, I know I can be a bit much at time,” Elizabeth said quickly in response to Nancy’s denials. “You’re the only one who always listens to my rants and ramblings, and you never make up an excuse to get rid of me or to interrupt me. I know I annoy everyone in the Department, but I can’t seem to rid myself of my negative perception of life,” Elizabeth added.
Nancy could feel her heart reach out to Elizabeth at the same time that it was breaking into tiny pieces. She was at a total loss for words, but it seemed Elizabeth had more to say.
“I’m trying to juggle work and my personal struggles with Devon, but it’s my problem; not yours or anyone else’s at work. I’ve had to hire a full-time care-giver for Devon, as I can’t quit my job. When Tim was still alive, he was a great help, but his sudden passing left me doubly devastated,” Elizabeth said in a voice overflowing with sorrow. “But I’m managing. Devon is more than just my son; he’s my heart and soul. To witness this debilitating disease and his inexorable decline has embittered me. Yet, even though he has given up the struggle, for we both know it’s useless to try and fight against MND, he still looks at me with eyes shining with faith. He’s only twenty-two, but MND has aged his soul, too. His gaze says what his tongue can’t anymore, and it constantly tells me that he’s accepted his fate. I’m not unaware of the irony that he who should have no faith left has far more than me, but perhaps his faith is strong enough for both of us.”
Elizabeth smiled sadly at Nancy before she said in parting, “I would appreciate it if you kept this just between us. I wouldn’t be able to abide the unwelcome commiserations of my colleagues, for it would reek of hypocrisy to me.”
Before Elizabeth left the Conference Room, Nancy assured her that she would respect her wishes and not betray her confidence.
Nancy sat down heavily, a changed woman. She had suddenly become someone who had had a comfortable rug of familiarity ripped out from under her feet, leaving her thankful for every blessing she had taken for granted.
Taking out her cell phone from her purse, she made a call with trembling fingers.
“Hello, Gary?” she said, her voice held carefully under control. “I just wanted to know if you’re all right, son.”
Image: Vlad Kutepov (www.unsplash.com)
If you would like to read more about MND, follow this link, please:
